First of all, I wish you a wonderful 2016 where all your dreams come true and your effort is recognised by the ones who mean the most to you!

It's been a while since I noticed some of my favourite bloggers posting less, taking breaks, feeling a bit down about their pages and even thou I'm not one to give up on anything I just started to feel a bit of the same... On the post where I talked about overcoming statistics you could read my opinion on the matter - blogging as a hobby vs blogging as a job - so for that you have an idea I do this for my own good... and since I've not been feeling that good for the past month or so I decided it was time to sit down and be honest about it.

It's been 2 years, not that long if you think, but for me is where the time comes more precious, as a 20 year old girl I have many ambitions, I finished a course by this time last year and in less than a month I was working for the first time, in a new country.

It all seems normal to me but if I stop to think about it, it definitely was a huge step in my life. I am happy, I can say that. I am grateful for my life, I had an amazing 2015 and discovered the greatness in living.

Being it none to do with my blog it influenced my way of doing things, living life in general. As many of you know who blogs with a full time job has barely no time for anything else and I start to crave doing other things... I just watched a movie and it felt great, I no longer watch series and barely read books and that made me think that my time is not being well spent as I just blog on my days off, go for a walk and see the shops and work days are just that, work days.

I love learning new things, I love reading but is hard to find a book for my needs, I love to write but time is not much these days so I have to take the most out of it to do every single thing I want.

I started by reading a book on my way to work and home, I've read it before in my mother language, I know the story but I love it that much I wanted to read it again in english. I also read beauty books and take notes on the bus, it's not very practical but is an effort I like to make to keep up to date with my knowledge in the beauty world... I play playstation whenever I feel like doing it and even thou I'm not a master of games I still enjoy my time. I watch movies every 2 months which is pretty scary as I used to watch tv and series everyday! I just feel like I stopped doing other things I love in prol of this one thing.

I have plenty ideas for this space, I'm not lacking inspiration by any means, but the light outside doesn't help... I can't remember the last time I was able to take a good picture so I just prefer to miss a post rather than give you a sh*ty image to look at! I'm sorry but it's the truth. People no longer read for the sake of reading, they mostly look at the blog and probably read one or two lines and go away. No wonder many people I follow is getting over it.

It's just so annoying that nowadays you have to be a professional blogger to be good at it, you have to stop doing other things in life so you can get 100 more followers a day. It's not worth it for me, I love this space, I know I'm making a strong point in here and probably will take me out of your following list but honestly were you really reading what I had to say? With so many amazing bloggers out there who give their life for this were you really interested in my opinion? In what I had to say? I have 400 followers, what do I know about stuff? You see! Everyone is judged by numbers nowadays and I'm not even talking about the brands 'cause that's the last thing I could care about... I'm talking about the audience that is mainly composed by other bloggers or people who seek for inspiration in whatever other people see.

The blogging world became so huge that no longer belongs to people who enjoy writing about their ideas, opinions, experiences... it no longer belongs to the people who enjoy reading a post that was made by someone probably their age and with the same amount of experience on the matter. Blogs used to be like friend's opinions being shared, as if I went online and searched for an opinion about certain product and that girl from that country tried it and had something to tell me on the matter... as if we were talking in real life... Now it all resembles like magazines and why would I waste my time trying to be like a magazine and get recognised if I never wanted to be a writer for those? It makes no sense to me...

The essence is lost in my point of view but like everything that becomes popular it will die... very soon! I just want to see who will keep their pages up after that let down... who will keep on giving their time for something that doesn't pays back in money or presents anymore... who will do it for love! And I already know who those people are... mostly the ones who are sick of this monetised space and are taking breaks as they no longer get their true recognition, their true friendly comments and handful shares of opinions... the true interaction with no interests behind. People who want those old days back and will be here again once they come!

With this I no longer know what I want to say, I'm putting my heart out. I can get hate but since most of the people don't read my page, it will probably remain a post like any other.

So, do not expect a schedule anymore, do not expect a theme, do not expect a come back. with all my honesty I don't know what will happen. I can get myself some lighting and try hard again tomorrow but only time will decide that for me... I don't want pressure and I don't want to stop living my life for something that gives me only chores to do and not friends to share opinions with.

I know I'm sounding dramatic but am I not being realistic? I met good people in here that I intend to keep contact with but I no longer aim for a recognition, true admiration or love for what I do in here. I no longer want to write 3 times a week if that means I won't have the opportunity to learn more about subjects I care about, if it means I will not have time to chat with people I love, if it means I won't be able to read another chapter of that life changing book... 

I'm not giving up, take it as a break if you will... I have a lot of things to share but I'll choose carefully the ones are worth a share... maybe I will change the design isn't that what everyone else does in this situation? I just don't know. 

So once more, hope you have a wonderful 2016 and if you made this far thank you for caring in a way that made you loose 10 minutes of your precious life to read this nonsense. You're amazing and I appreciate your time!