After 3 years I can say, is frustrating not seeing major changes. What's wrong? The way I write, my photos, my content? I have no idea. I'm not the best at sharing my posts but when you have 500 followers you expect more than 18 reads a day, if you're lucky you'll have that much. 

I've always said to myself and other fellow bloggers, numbers don't matter but they do nowadays, it seems like if you don't have a certain amount of following at the end of X years you're just a failure as a blogger. It came to me that why bother sit down and write about things if people don't care to read? If it won't make them come back or if my photography is a bit grey because - hey I live in London what can you expect! 

I'm trying to move my life forward, I finished my course, I want to be a make-up artist full time but is so hard and takes so much money out of my savings to have a minimum decent kit. All of this together I still work 5 days a week at the bakery, and not having the best team ever with me it just sucks that I can't just quit because where am I going to get money to pay my bills right...

All of this together adds up to the fact I don't see progress as quick as I'd like to. I want to stick around but I come I write something and then I don't publish because I'm not feeling it. I've always been proud of my achievements but it comes to a point where there's so many people at my age doing so much better than me in life. So why bother if I'm not getting there even after 3 years. 

I'm not calling it quits right now but I don't want to spend all my life trying to be good at something that I potentially am not.